I can’t believe that the government is watching our every move and yet they refused to warn me that I was about to walk into a Panera where THREE of my exes were working together.

Hey, the government? You could’ve texted me. You’ve got GPS; they’ve got their jobs on Facebook; I know you know we dated. You knew, you have the technology, and you just let me walk in there, make eye contact with them, and walk out without ordering anything. Fuck you. I hate this country.

My favourite thing about the tags and replies on this post is that they’re full of people legitimately slut-shaming me for having dated three people who ended up working at the same place. Like I’m some compulsive bread whore. Like I just shoved a whole Panera up my ass one day.

Do straight people not understand the small town phenomena where 1.) there are a maximum of ten LGBT+ people that you’re even vaguely compatible with, and so you all just end up dating each other at one point or another, and 2.) word gets around that the manager of a specific business isn’t a blatant homophobe, and so it ends up becoming staffed entirely by LGBT+ people despite not being an inherently gay establishment? You guys don’t just have, like, that one Taco Bell where everyone is a lesbian?

Tbh I’d be far more likely to visit Taco Bell if it were confirmed that everyone there is a lesbian

The best part of the story is that they all were individually like “wow they left because of me” and probably didn’t realize they were all thinking the same thing