a simplified guide to sexualities

penfairy:

homosexual: sexually attracted to homer simpson

pansexual: gets off to various kitchen utensils

asexual: gets turned on by the first letter of the latin alphabet

demisexual: sexually attracted to you if and only if your blood is half divine

bisexual: can only have sex with two people ever. choose wisely

heterosexual: can only be satisfied by macklemore